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Topics - Slimebeast

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Slimy Stories / Codger's Cottage
« on: 08:30:11 PM 01/24/16 »
Hi, guys!

Right off the bat, I want to apologize for posting this here. I know it doesn't really belong but I'm hoping this post relates enough to the subject matter that you'll allow it to stay. If you decide to remove it, I understand, but I really hope you won't. :\

I've been posting around, trying to find people who have seen Codger's Cottage, a live kids' TV show from the 1980s. As far as I know from talking to people, it only aired in the United States and some of Canada.

If you've seen the show, that's fantastic and I'd love to talk about it if you want, but really the main point is that I'm looking for people who were called by Codger during his "Calls From Codger" segment at the end of each episode.

This is the part where I describe the show for anyone who can't quite place the title.

Essentially, "Codger" was a large, full-body puppet suit made to look like an elderly badger. He wore a multi-colored sweater we used to refer to as a "Cosby Sweater", though I'm sure that's not the preferred term anymore. Khaki slacks, sandals, and thin-rimmed glasses completed the look. He was covered in brownish fur, but the "hair" on top of his head was white and unkempt.

He never left his rocking chair, from what I've seen of the show, probably due to the nature of the suit. The eyes, mouth, and brows would move as the character spoke.

I saw the show as a kid, naturally, back when it first aired. We didn't have cable at my house, but the neighbors did, so I spent a lot of time in front of their set with their son, Dwayne. We watched Codger's Cottage mostly because he was a lot younger than me, and would insist on one of "his" shows for every two of "mine". I was too old at that point to really enjoy it, but watching cable television was enough to keep me there.

I've spoken to close to a hundred people who have seen the show, just here and there on forums and in chat rooms. When they don't recall anything about it by this point, I mention Codger's cat, Shamrock, and it starts to come back. (He was the green cat puppet with the Irish voice actor.)

Anyway, if you're with me now, that's great. If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's fine as well. I just don't expect you'll really get what I'm talking about from this point forward. I'm going to try to be a succinct as possible.

As I said, I want to find more people who were chosen by Codger to receive the much-anticipated phone call. This would have happened to you after Codger stopped telling his story for the day, or rather, that day's portion of the same ongoing story. (Please don't ask me how the story began or ended. I didn't see those episodes, and I haven't met anyone else who did. This is a recurring question.)

Once Shamrock made his way closer to the fire, curled up, and summarily had his tail run over by the rocking chair, Codger would stop the drawn-out story and announce it was time to call a "very special someone out there".

Dwayne got one of the calls, which is why I know the show was live despite what others have insisted. I don't care if it's "unlikely" for a puppet show to broadcast that way, myself and many others saw it with our own eyes.

Codger called him up, right on the show, and the phone rang almost immediately. As soon as Dwayne was talking with Codger, the character patiently insisted he "Turn down the TV to get rid of that pesky echo".

From that point on, I only heard Dwayne's side of the conversation, but what he told me squares up with what we saw on other episodes and what other people have said about the calls they also received. Just general stuff about being a "good boy" and doing various things like homework and chores, followed by Codger's usual ending line.

"You be good, and some day old Codger might just come stay with you for a while! Wouldn't that be as tasty as turnips?"

So if you've received a call like that, even if you don't recall watching the show, please do let me know.

Anyway, that's about it I suppose. I'm just trying to figure this all out. For anyone who wants some extra explanation, keep reading below. If this doesn't ring and bells and you pretty much just want to move on, feel free.

Basically, the reason I starting asking around about the show is what happened with Dwayne from there forward. We never really talked that much about Codger's Cottage, even after he was lucky enough to get the call that day. I wasn't interested in it to begin with, and there were so many other, much more exciting shows to talk about. He-Man, G.I. Joe, and so on.

A short time later, though, I heard that Dwayne had gotten into trouble at school. His Mom asked me to come over and keep him company, but even then he didn't really want to talk to me about it. When I pressed him, up to the point of saying he wasn't really my friend if he didn't tell me, he finally relented.

Dwayne had told a bunch of kids, ones his own age, that he actually met Codger in real life, and that the puppet had come to stay with him. Even then, I knew this was a lie, but he was so sad about being harassed and bullied over it that I didn't really want to make fun of him for it.

When he asked if I believed him, though, I had to admit I didn't. He was crestfallen, of course. Still, I felt he should've known I was too old for that sort of pretend. He showed me "claw marks" from Codger tapping at his windowsill, but it seemed obvious to me he had cut them in himself.

I even asked how Codger could've come to visit without his parents knowing, and he insisted it was because they were asleep when he did. That made it all the worse since it seemed like a desperate grasp for an explanation.

Our friendship became sort of watered down after that. The age difference was already bothering me even though we weren't that far apart, and I had moved on to Middle School where I was meeting a lot of new kids.

As the years went by, my family and I moved away and I never really heard about or spoke to Dwayne again. The only time he entered my mind was when our Mothers would speak and they'd decide it was a good idea to hand us the phone. This odd tactic to bring us back together lasted into our teen years, and it was always awkward as Hell.

I'm not sure when it was, exactly, but years later I heard Dwayne had gotten into hard drugs and hanging around people and places that were generally "unhealthy". The period of time where I was forced to talk to him despite us essentially being strangers had ended at this point.

When his Dad died, Dwayne inherited $400,000 that was supposed to help keep him secure for the foreseeable future. Instead, he spent it down to zero in a matter of months. Mostly on drugs, but also on people he considered "friends". People that all but abandoned him and moved on when the money was gone.

You can probably tell already that there isn't a happy ending here. Dwayne went missing for a while, then ended up dumped on his Mom's doorstep by someone that drove off into the night.

He had OD'd, and the last weeks of his life were spent in hospice care.

I'm still haunted by one of the few things he said to me when we were both put into the uncomfortable position of talking over the phone. "It still hurts that you didn't believe me."

There have been similar cases I've seen. Friends and family members of kids who got a call from Codger, and then said they actually got that visit. It never turned out well for them.

What's worse, though, is the simple math behind this. I want to think that a large number of people who claim they've gotten the call are just lying. I hope they're actively trolling me, or they just want attention.

See, there are too many calls. I think there are more people who claim to have gotten Codger's call than there were episodes of the show. Admittedly, I don't know how long the show aired, but that doesn't matter given what I've seen discussed.

Most people can remember which specific episode was airing when Codger spoke to them, and most of the time it's the same episode. I don't know how it could work, but four or five people remember being called during the same show, on or around the same point in time, and each of them remember having their own discussion.

They remember their exact name being said on-air.

It makes no sense, but it seems like multiple children (many children) were all simultaneously contacted by Codger at the same moment for similar yet different conversations.

The reason I'm posting this is that I want to understand what happened to Dwayne. I want to know what he wanted to tell me, and I feel like even if it comes from someone else it'll be like I finally was willing to hear him.

The only problem is that I can't find a single person who said they were visited by Codger. I mean, one who's still alive to talk about it.

Creepy Media Picks / Undercooked Analysis: Corruptus
« on: 01:51:08 PM 01/11/16 »

Umbrella meets SCP meets Dunder-Mifflin.

Random Projects / Hell Rising browser-based online game
« on: 05:38:09 PM 01/08/16 »
Zombie vs. Vampire vs. Survivor!

Random Projects / Lousy Comics (no, really.)
« on: 05:37:13 PM 01/08/16 »

Random Projects / Puny Mortals mini-comic
« on: 05:36:48 PM 01/08/16 »
Written by myself, illustrated by Dave Newbold, colored by Keith Garletts.

Random Projects / Nosferatu Graphic Novel
« on: 05:35:19 PM 01/08/16 »
Written by myself, illustrated by Justin Wayne, colored by Sal Nieto, published by Viper Comics in 2010.

Creepy Media Picks / "Corruptus" Reading
« on: 03:03:09 AM 12/30/15 »

Creepy Media Picks / "Red Snow" read by the Pasta Shade
« on: 03:35:42 PM 12/25/15 »

Slimy Stories / Real Cop Drama with Officer Glad
« on: 05:16:51 PM 12/12/15 »
This is yet another post asking for information from other Redditors about a TV series that aired a while back. If you have some helpful information, please feel free to comment and/or message me personally.

I'm pretty much positive that remember the title as "Real Cop Drama", but I could be wrong. The opening is a montage of real-life crime footage from CCTV and dash cams, set to an instrumental version of "I Fought The Law". Each clip stops abruptly before someone is shot, hit by a vehicle, etc.

I'm definitely sure that the host of the show was called "Officer Glad". Of course, probably not even his actual surname. He was a slightly dumpy, older cop. White hair, a few wrinkles, and the typical "dead fish" frowny-face you see on old dudes who have had enough bullshit in life. Boston accent.

I saw about five episodes of this series back in the mid-2000s when I was still young and living with my parents. We had Eagle as a cable provider, but they didn't keep up on the bill so we just got whatever happened to be de-scrambled or relatively watchable through the fuzz. It was on channel 5, but of course with no working box I'm sure that wouldn't have been the intended location.

I'm not sure if any of this sounds familiar to anyone reading this, yet. The show would always open with Officer Glad stepping out of the shadows on a green screen "street corner" location, and his opening catch phrase was "Scofflaws won't sleep soundly, tonight." followed by "I'm Officer Glad" and a short description of the night's theme.

Not sure what the original air time was, or even the original air dates. Since it would be about three or four AM when I'd tune in, I can't imagine I was seeing anything other than repeats. I was in high school at the time and had a lot of anxiety about upcoming school days.

Production value was nearly non-existent outside of the shoddy green screen and opening montage. After a brief intro for each following vignette, uncut raw footage from various Police-related incidents would play.

The show was exploitative to the nth degree. Vehicular homicides from traffic cameras, grainy security footage of deadly convenience store robberies... nothing appeared to be off limits for the show. Unlike the opening sequence, these clips showed the blood and gore without a shadow of shame.

One that haunted me for years to come, which I just purposefully don't think about now, involved a young woman trapped under a city bus that had run up on the sidewalk. All you could see from the haphazard, shaky camera footage was her head and arm sticking out next to one of the tires.

She looked around with a pallid expression of shock as he arm slowly, absently felt along the concrete. Her mouth moved but nothing came out. When the camera adjusted slightly, looked under the bus itself, I could see that the rest of her body was elsewhere. Her attempts at calling or feeling for help were just the random motor functions of severed body parts.

The thing that bothered me the most was her body, though. The summer dress, the single red high-heeled shoe. In that fleeting moment of horror, the imagery also told a story about her. I couldn't stop wondering where she was going that day, who she was going to meet, and what would have happened in her life if that horrible moment hadn't occurred.

I'm off-topic. Really, I just want to find out if anyone has some information on this show. I want this to be fake. I want to find out that the whole thing was staged with very good practical effects. If I can go through the rest of days with the knowledge I was very expertly trolled by a shitty exploitation show, I'll be able to sleep a little better.

I do think there's a good chance the show was staged, and if you do know the series, you'll probably agree once I talk about the evidence.

The majority of footage centered on traffic stops, which were interspersed with the horrific random accident clips. Of course, these segments were just as bloody.

The stops followed a sort of pattern. Dash cam footage of a vehicle breaking a traffic law like failing to signal, running a stop sign, or driving erratically.

After the officer pulled the driver over, a disagreement would ensue. The driver would insist they hadn't done anything wrong, or they'd say that their infraction was hardly worth the trouble of ruining their day. A couple got really agitated and demanded lawyers or constitutional citations on the spot.

In each clip, the argument was loud, but brief. The minute a gun was drawn on the driver, they'd instantly clam up.

The theme would swell up again. "I Fought The Law". The audio would drop except for that instrumental piece as the officer would fire several shots into the vehicle and strut away as if they'd completed a job well done.

There were some runners. Two or three drivers managed to get out and run, only to be shot in the back until they were face-down on the pavement. Then, a single bullet to the back of the head at close range.

A passenger jumped out at one point and darted into the woods nearby. The officer calmly returned to the patrol car, retrieved a spot light and shotgun, then just as calmly followed after. One of the few actual edits to these clips occurred when the cop returned alone with an additional handful of empty shells.

One of the cars had a "Baby On Board" sign, but it was impossible to see what happened to the supposed child. I convinced myself it wasn't there that day.

The reason that I think this is fake, that I PRAY it's fake, is the common thread in all of the videos.

Every time someone gets pulled over and killed, it's by Officer Glad. The doughy, hard-nosed old man with the white hair and tired expression.

I want to believe this was just a very strange prank show, or a spin-off I don't understand because of the lack of context. The gore porn is bad enough, and it's what still disturbs me the most, but if Office Glad is actually a real person and not a character... it makes everything so much worse.

Those few episodes of that show scared me straight. As I mentioned, I was still young at the time and it had a lasting effect on how I view the law and the people who enforce it. I've been as straight an arrow as you can imagine from that point forward - and make no mistake, I was no saint before then.

It does little to comfort me, though, to know that people were executed for the most minor infractions. Things they didn't even know they were doing, or had no control over.

I'm not a "scofflaw", but I still can't sleep soundly at night.

The Slime Pit / open!
« on: 08:50:17 PM 11/14/15 »
Hey, guys.

I opened as a Creepypasta/Horror only site.


Creepy Media Picks / Undercooked Analysis: A Few Suggestions
« on: 07:21:09 PM 11/13/15 »

Slimy Stories / The $20 Game
« on: 02:08:28 AM 10/29/15 »
I never belonged to a Fraternity, but I still had the whole "frat boy" experience in college. Drink until you black out, wake up sick as a dog, drink until you don't feel it, repeat the next day with no idea who you hung out with, where you went, or who you screwed the night before. All I'll say is that while I look back on it with no semblance of pride, it was an experience I feel I'm a better man for living through.

I formed a strong bond with a bunch of guys back then, and while they'd be the first to say "no homo"... come on. Let's be real here, there's always at least a little "homo".

I don't think about the dudes I liked nearly as much as one I didn't connect with at all, however. His name, or rather, the thing everyone called him, was "Creepy Joe". I don't even know if "Joe" was his actual name.

Creepy Joe was the kind of guy who hung around at the edges of the party. He didn't talk to many people and was generally awkward. But hey, he didn't drink much of the booze and never got into shit-fights, so nobody really minded his presence. With Joe, "presence" is the perfect word because you could sort of feel him coming into a room. Long before you saw the wild, already graying hair and the unshaven muzzle, you'd just sort of know he was skulking around nearby. Even if you could barely make out his favorite powder blue hoodie through the crowd of grinding bodies, you knew it had to be him.

The last time I saw Joe was at one of those parties. The kind where you could have sex with someone and no one would really be able to tell because of how everyone was packed into the place. Creepy Joe was hovering around the liquor, as usual. This was always odd because, again, he didn't really drink.

I didn't pay him any mind at first beyond the customary "Creepy Joe be creepin'." comment that we had started repeating the moment one of us saw him. It was like our own competitive game of Where's Waldo.

As I mentioned, Joe never really spoke to many people... but when he did, it was always a girl. On that particular night it was a strawberry blonde I'd had my eye on as well. I don't remember much about her from that night other than her hair. I wanted to bury my face in it like fucking caveman. I'd never seen her at a party before, and apparently no one else had either since she managed to draw a lot of attention by doing next to nothing.

I was happy to see one of my friends pull Joe off his game, but not as thrilled when the same friend brought him right up to me. This friend of mine was known for drinking much faster and much harder than any of us, and this night was no different.

Apparently, he had a great idea for a game he wanted to try out with a few of us - especially with Creepy Joe.

"The $20 Game", he called it, claiming it was something everyone tried at least once. The idea was that a few of us would pack into a car, drive to the local 24-Hour Superstore, and spend up to $20 each while buying the most sinister and outlandish items possible. The intention was for the combined items to freak out the cashier and make them think we were up to something terrible. The winner, as he explained it, would get their $20 back, evenly split among the losers.

It made little sense to me, as you'd imagine, but I was always up for a prank. One harrowing, completely wasted car trip later, about five or six of us were rushing through the automatic doors and into our separate aisles.

I couldn't really think of anything particularly intelligent at the time, so I went for the most obvious choices. duct tape, a meat tenderizer, and trash bags. Pretty straightforward. I found out just how uninspired I had been when we all gathered back outside and laughed about how frightened our cashiers had looked.

One of the guys had purchased a bag of candy, Dora the Explorer band-aids, and an Exacto knife. Another picked up a tub of Vaseline, a zucchini, and a "For An Awesome Dad!" greeting card. There was also something with a candy bar and a rat tap, but I can't recall the other item. I was essentially the laughingstock of the moment for picking such basic stuff.

Creepy Joe was surprisingly tame, as well. Just some zip ties, a sleep aid, and a shovel. That was it.

Needless to say, neither of us won though I have no idea who did. Likely it was the guy who came up with the idea in the first place, since that would only make sense. I don't even recall how we judged the entries. Another curb-hopping car ride back to the party, and the whole thing was just a very stupid memory.

I would've forgotten the whole thing, just another escapade drowned to death in one too many drinks... but as I mentioned, that was the last time Creepy Joe came around, and there's a reason for that.

Come morning, the strawberry blonde he'd been chatting up was nowhere to be found. As weeks turned into months, and months into years, people stopped looking.

Also missing from the house... some zip ties, a bottle of sleep aid, and a brand new shovel.

Hell Rising / NPC Spawn Time Updates
« on: 06:29:36 PM 10/26/15 »
Mammon provided an update that allows changes to NPC spawn schedules, so...

  • The Faceless Stranger now spawns only during the midnight hour every night.
  • The Masked Psycho spawns all day on the 13th of every month, not just Friday the 13ths.
  • Holiday NPCs will automatically spawn in their respective times as opposed to being hand-added (late.)
  • Battle the Venomortis all day on Saturdays.
  • Catch the cowardly Serling Salmon sports mascot every Sunday for a dumb prize.

More as it develops.

Creepy Media Picks / Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared. #5
« on: 10:26:39 PM 10/15/15 »

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