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Messages - Tim Jong Thrillin

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1
Slimy Stories / Re: JTK
« on: 02:07:37 PM 06/19/17 »
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize this was Jeff the Killer.  I don't know what kind of thing this was for, but you deserve a hell of a lot of credit for actually making a genuinely interesting Jeff the Killer story.  Kudos!

2
Slimy Stories / Re: Red Apple Snacks
« on: 04:46:10 PM 05/22/17 »
I bought some Faceless Co. brand catnip once, and now my stupid cat won't stop leaving his tentacle residue on the ceiling fan in my bedroom.  I tried calling their helpline, but the chittering laughter on the other end made me black out, and now I have constant headaches from my vision trying to reconcile itself with the third eye that grew on the back of my head.

Also, the catnip smelled terrible and I can't get that stink out of my living room.  4/10, would not buy again.

3
The Shitty Stories / Re: You Got Blood in My Ink
« on: 04:43:11 PM 08/22/16 »

This is a true story.
You can call me Tim.

I always knew Tim would die young.


Jokes on you, I consider 31 too old to die young!

Too old for most things really...

...

 :'(

4
The Slime Pit / Re: Where's the war?!
« on: 02:41:17 PM 08/16/16 »
Wait... is Slimebeast not your actual name?

5
Slimy Stories / Re: Clomstace, Garmabob, and Dorbenmueller
« on: 11:30:24 AM 02/19/16 »
True story, Garmabob Dorbenmueller is my karaoke name.

6
Slimy Stories / Re: Mario is a Monster
« on: 12:57:14 PM 08/28/15 »
No, no, you're doing it wrong.  It's pronounced Eeyagh.  With the long E sound at the beginning, and kind of a gutteral, ghghhh sound at the end.  Eeyagh.  Ee-yaghgh.

7
Slimy Stories / Re: Harvey Heck's Hall of Mirrors
« on: 09:52:47 AM 07/28/15 »
"Unfortunately, the second I slipped into the seat, I was sinking in soaked, spongy upholstery ridden with white, thread-like worms. There was no easy second chance after that."

Just to be clear, he jizzed his pants, right? Cuz if the seat was already soggy with actual worms (or worse, someone else's jizz), then that's just downright terrifying!

 :eek:

8
The Shitty Stories / Re: Dear Space Men
« on: 11:08:00 AM 06/29/15 »
Ya know, maybe it's just me, but aside from what's obviously creepy about this story, I also found it unsettling that the space program scientist just mentioned, almost off handedly, that the Mars mission is a one way trip.  "Yup, we're sending a team out there, and they're never coming back!  Godspeed, men!"

9
Slimy Stories / Re: Whimsywood
« on: 12:12:30 PM 05/28/15 »
Well I - *gets hit by a car*

I realize I'm about two years too late, but this made me laugh probably a little harder than I should have.

Oh, and the story's good n' stuff.  As usual.

10
Slimy Stories / Re: Corruptus
« on: 09:35:09 AM 04/22/15 »
I really like the term "cosmic abortions" in regards to these things.  That whole paragraph where that term appears is pretty rad.

Tantilizingly good, as per the previous installments. 

11
Rap Battles / Re: Random Rap Battle: Godzilla vs. King Kong
« on: 11:56:39 AM 03/11/15 »
I am entranced by these rap battles.  I'm not exactly sure what that says for the state of, ya know... my brain, and stuff?  But I'm glad they're here!

12
Slimy Stories / Re: Hand-Outs
« on: 10:07:07 AM 03/09/15 »
I see you in there, Bananja!  Thought you could sneak past me, did you?

These ninjas aren't all that like they think they are...

Love the story, by the way.  Haven't delved too much into your Faceless Corporation stuff yet, but I might have to give it a go.  I usually stay away from SCP-eque stuff because in most cases there's just SO MUCH sheer volume... but yours is newer, so it might not be totally overwhelming just yet.

13
Slimy Stories / Re: Action News Team 13
« on: 11:25:14 AM 02/16/15 »
The pseudo-Asian voice with the weird syntax at the beginning immediately made me think of Burgrr/Awful Hostpital/et al from the Bogleech creepypasta-verse.

Which is awesome, little nods and references and easter eggs like that make me slightly giddy.

14
Cat is QUITE impressed.

15
I was gonna say, this could have EASILY just been an ACTUAL Epic Rap Battle of History... but you managed to tie in a creepy-ish factor at the end there. 

Your raps are good. And silly.  Which makes them extra good.

Well done, as usual.

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