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Author Topic: What to do with Human Baby  (Read 8659 times)

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Slimebeast

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on: 12:19:04 AM 05/27/13
So you have found Human Baby and don't know what to do! Well I will tell you what to do. Don't worry! Don't scream! Screaming is the first thing you will do to make Human Baby upset. This is a reminder to not be loud!

This notice is assuming you have and control Human Baby to your best abilities, and Human Older is not around to see you. If Human Older can see you, do not go through this list for what to do with Human Baby! Wait for a time when Human Baby is something you have and control and then read again this notice.

You do not need to start at the top.

Congratulations! Here is what to do with Human Baby!

One: Take Human Baby around and show things to it. Show it to things, too. If you are a Fink of worldly nature, take Human Baby all over the place. Show it to your brood. Show it to the Duolith if you want to make it mad. Show Human Baby to France and to China, and hope it will understand good culture!

Two: Make Human Baby your ultimate star. Human Baby can appreciate symbols and directions and sounds from a Fink's mouth. Be capable of telling it! Tell it all sorts of things! Put on it some clothes and make it have some stew. Human Baby can take many tries before you can have it eat stew. Keep at it!

Three: Plant Human Baby if it seems like you will like to. Grow Human Baby into a plant all new and with lots of abundance. You can enjoy more Human Baby in a while, be patient and wait. Remember to share, that's the goal!

Three: Elevate Human Baby to great heights. Go up into that sky with Human Baby and zip all around! Do not be scared if Human Baby may reject its food during travel. Remember do not scream! If you are a Fink who is accomplished at raising into the sky, this might be the option for you.

Four: Teach Human Baby something nobody should know. This can be alright because Human Baby will forget most everything you tell it! Don't be alarmed but this is how they are.

Five: Examine Human Baby outside and inside. Really learn to see what makes Human Baby work and why it is different from you. Be careful! Too much of this can make Human Baby stop moving. Nobody in the world knows why. Plant Human Baby if this happens to you!

Six: You can make Human Baby dance by holding the hands and the feet. Human Baby can do a merry jig or a complicated waltz if you want. Get together with Fink friends and have dance routines together. Don't get too hot in the competition!

Nine: Sell or trade Human Baby for more than it is worth. Another Fink may not want this tactic, so try for other things. Gray Hermit may want Human Baby. Underground Fish may want Human Baby. Make them pay a large quantity or exchange Human Baby for a thing of greater value. This can even be a good stone or something wooden.

Eight: Maybe Human Baby can be a Fink. Raise Human Baby for some years, and make it have fur and stretch its limbs. Remember! Human Baby might usually have a head! Push it down. Down, down, down. It will retract, don't worry over that. Through time, you will let go of Human Baby to realize it is the Fink you imagined! Find another!

Very well, there you are! All the things possible to do with Human Baby. I hope you can figure out which is the best and which is the worst because it's your enjoyment that I'm after!

If you forgot to read it, don't worry! I will say the most important thing again, and it's that you should not scream no matter what Human Baby does!

Good luck, Finks. Good luck and good fun!
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.



voodoohandbag

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on: 01:40:18 PM 11/10/13
I love this. I mean, I love all your stories, but for some reason, I have read this over and over, and laughed every time.

This is my new favourite thing :)



Slimebeast

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on: 06:55:08 PM 11/10/13
Have you tried this special advice? Have you had good fun?
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.



CreatureOfEvil(and pies)

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on: 01:56:21 AM 11/14/13
No, forgot to feed is not have fun good!!!
Hman baby braek cry fast, start to stinky.
try to give has back for human, now they cry scare for me!!!
none out of tenty dark-time-sky-speckles
The secret ingredient is love. Pain and love. And terror.

But mostly love



Felix Theo Wren

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on: 06:08:44 AM 11/14/13
Be sure that when Human Baby begins to have a stink, that no lumps are found in the bottom.  Wrap the bottom in a new clean skin-cloth, but before that, be sure to wipe, wipe, wipe!  Lumps can be used to make a planted Human Baby grow fast and strong.  Do not give it to Human Baby for food unless it is planted, or it may reject stomach juices all over you.  Splat!
Teie sõbralik kassimees naabrusest :D

I might have been a kiisu katt once.



Slimebeast

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on: 04:11:17 PM 11/14/13
Truth.
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.



goolygoo

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on: 10:02:07 PM 11/22/13
No, forgot to feed is not have fun good!!!
Hman baby braek cry fast, start to stinky.
try to give has back for human, now they cry scare for me!!!
none out of tenty dark-time-sky-speckles

I am truley sorry for your lots.
« Last Edit: 05:54:10 AM 11/23/13 by goolygoo »



SomnusInterruptus

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on: 04:32:58 PM 07/04/15
My advice? Don't ever have one!  :D




 


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