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Author Topic: Searching For A Face  (Read 5358 times)

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on: 03:14:54 AM 01/15/13
I spent many winter nights looking for a face.

Not just any face, but a specific one. One I wasn't entirely sure existed. Even though I knew exactly where to look, I just couldn't seem to spot it.

The Man in the Moon.

That was the face. Until recently, I thought the name was just given to some imagined being that lived inside the orb. You know, kids would wish for something, or ask about some mystery of growing up, and they'd address it to a "man in the moon" they assumed must live up there.

You can picture the look of confusion on MY face when I was informed this isn't so.

"Ha! Idiot," she chuckled, "There's an actual face on the moon. Oh my God, you actually thought it was some man who lived inside the moon??"

"Yes and no." I told her.

She was this buxom young woman that I'd met on the internet. I say "buxom" because honestly there's no other word for how she looked. Believe me, I was relieved as HELL when I finally met her in person. Seeing a photo or two online doesn't necessarily do much to convince you in this day and age.

Still, there she was. Small, round, but wonderfully small and round. Perfect.

We were reclining on the hood of my jet black Camero, and for the longest time I just looked at the reflection of her face in that glossy surface. My mind boggled at the thought of two of her.

That's what started the conversation, by the way. We were laid out like that, looking up at the night sky, and I wanted two of her. Two perfect buxom goddesses.

"Dear Man in the Moon," I'd started, "If you're not busy in there..."

She stopped me in mid-wish to correct me.

Yes and no, I'd told her, because YES I thought he was IN the Moon, but NO I didn't actually think he was THERE.

However, I didn't really feel it was in my best interest to elaborate at that point.

I stared at the Moon and tried to find the face. All I saw was a big-ass white rock with a bunch of little dots and smudges on it. If that looks like the face of someone you know... they have some serious problems.

"So where is it?"

"It's right there."

"Right... where?"

"The Moon. You know... THE Moon. The only one up there."

"Yeaaahh, I don't see it."

It started to dawn on me that she could actually just be screwing with me.

We held hands for a while. Kissed. I tried to make a move, even though I knew it was too soon, and as a result I was informed that it was indeed too soon. The lack of a slap across the face was encouraging nonetheless.

After that night, I kept looking for the face. It was like a Magic Eye puzzle that wouldn't come in for me. By the way, that's actually true of all Magic Eye puzzles. I've always just nodded and agreed that it was an awesome helicoptor or tiger or whatever the Hell people said it was.

I dusted off an old pair of binoculars, then a telescope, and studied the Moon's surface for any sign of a mouth... of eyes... I would've paid you a hundred bucks to point out a nostril.


I didn't even see it in photos, and when the "face" was outlined in red or otherwise enhanced, all it looked like was a bunch of unrelated crap someone had randomly circled.

It was summer before I actually noticed anything other than white and smudges.

Over the course of spring I'd gradually given up my search. Things with my digital sweetheart were getting serious (not THAT kind of serious), and then eventually they got serious. (THAT kind of serious)

We were out in the grass, in the middle of nowhere, when... red-faced, breathless... I decided the time was right. I had the ring in my pocket, and for the whole night I'd kept making weird angles and twitches to keep her hands from finding it there.

"Baby..." I started, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, "Baby, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me..."

She looked into my eyes, saw some look of intent I'd previously lacked.

"Will... will you..." I stammered.

She started to sit up... got to her feet and backed away from me. There was a look on HER face now that I'D never seen.


"What's the matter?" I touched the ring in my pocket, not sure what to make of this turn of events.

Had she realized what I was about to ask? Was she dreading this? Dreading the idea of spending her life with me?

She pointed. At first I thought she was extending her digit, that beautiful, slender pointer finger, toward me... but within moments her hand was raised and I was turning to see what she was really gesturing to.

There, hanging in stunningly clear night sky, was the moon.

On its surface, a gray mark. It slowly squirmed across the satellite's barren, pale canvas. The thing must have been massive, I could barely fathom the size of something that could be visible from that distance.

Then, it hunched a bit.

It leapt.

She and I stared in disbelief, our bodies clasped together. There, in the inky black darkness dotted with a billion pin-pricks of starlight, was the vaguely recognizable shape of some ancient, whithered thing. Almost dog-like except for its slight similarity to a mummified corpse.

It seemed to hang motionless in space, but soon it became obvious that the thing was slowly... very slowly... getting closer.

Its grayish visage was set with small, dark eyes and its thin mouth seemed down-turned. Even as far away as it must've been... as blurry and hard to discern as its features appeared... I could still make out the intense, determined expression it wore.

"Oh," I whispered into my lover's ear, still staring upward, "I see it, now."
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.


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on: 02:09:38 PM 09/10/15
didn't get it

Meaty Okra Tea

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on: 11:08:11 PM 09/14/15
didn't get it

The guy's trying to see the face in the moon everyone keeps talking about - the one made out of craters and canyons that isn't an actual face. While he's looking, the moon comes to life and decides to slowly fall to Earth, revealing its very real face and snarling at the Earth.

It inches closer and closer before looking straight at the protagonist and his internet girlfriend, opens its ancient, withered unfathomably huge mouth and speaks:

« Last Edit: 11:20:48 PM 09/14/15 by Meaty Okra Tea »