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Author Topic: Gorbs 2: Gorbs Rerolled  (Read 6196 times)

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Slimebeast

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on: 01:24:55 AM 12/18/14
I've been thinking about my career quite a lot, lately. I started off working for "back end" payment, otherwise known as "no" payment, on pilots for horrible TV shows and outlines for equally abysmal movies. That's how you have to work your way into the business, sometimes.

There's a certain food chain, with unimportant nobodies (writers) at the bottom, and your only hope can be to climb that greasy chain rung by slippery rung. You never really reach the top, but at least you can fling your scripts and synopses high enough to land at the feet of Deities.

That's how I met Pace, and that's how I got jobs writing complete and utter shit like "Scrape", "Drill", "Bloodscapade", and a joyless big screen adaptation of some obnoxious tween book about a school girl fucking a Merman.

If you're not familiar with what happened to Pace, you haven't read my previous posting. Seriously, though, who does that? I can't stand people who go see a sequel without watching the original... don't ask what happened previously or why things are happening the way they are, now. That's not how things work, you dullard.

Before the Gorb started rolling its way out of my imagination and into America's hearts... scratch that... over America's hearts, heads, limbs, and so forth... I suffered through countless excruciating meetings with over-paid and undertalented big wigs. I spent two hours and fifteen minutes discussing a certain Producer's plan for a modern-day retelling of Sherlock Holmes in the 1990s, BEFORE everyone else was doing it, and the entire process was one lost battle after another.

What started as "drug-addled, flawed Detective fights cybercrime during the rise of Computers and the Internet" miraculously morphed into "Two buddies in the 'hood bungle their way through a series of urban crimes and hilarious misunderstandings".

I shit you not, the title ended up being "Holmies".

It was that or "What up, Holmes?", and they thought the latter option was too wordy.

Either way, the pilot wasn't picked up so the entire effort was pointless. I suppose the point I want to make, tangents aside, is that my meeting with Pace was nothing new or unique. I had sat across a desk from many of these people in the past.

So what was different about THAT time? The Gorbs?

By the way, there are more than one now. I don't even know how that's possible, but there you go. I suppose the initial Gorb could've grown so large that it fractured into smaller, self-contained spheres of gibbering, shrieking meat. Anything's possible.

They essentially roll through cities, towns, rural landscapes, picking up new passengers as they go. People run to the things when they see them. They throw themselves onto a passing Gorb or simply lie down in front of it if they're less proactive about things.

"Gorbs!", they shout upon sight of the things, "Gorbs!!"

They run out of their houses, abandon evacuation procedures, throw down infants and shove over the elderly. It's as if they're chasing after some sort of demented ice cream truck piloted by the Sirens of the Odyssey. It makes no sense whatsoever, yet there they go... wheeling madly toward a cluster of sticky, vacant faces and mis-matched, twisted limbs.

I've written horror movies before. I know how this shit goes. I can come up with a thousand and one explanations for what's happening.

Twist ending: The protagonist's disdain for mindless audiences who enjoy drek caused him to unleash a wave of hatred that fuses the masses into thoughtless, rumbling shitballs.

Alternate ending: The Gorbs are the result of a cruel yet hilarious God who heard the concept for "Gorbs" and said, quote, "This, I gotta see!"

DVD-Exclusive Director's Cut ending: The protagonist is actually in a hospital bed and is in a coma after suffering an aneurysm due to the motion picture industry objectively sucking horse cock.

I like to think it's the third option. Not only because there's a chance I'll wake up from this, but also due to the fact it would score me some guilt points with Pace and perhaps make him quit tampering with my work. That's a pretty big "perhaps".

I'm trying to leave the country at the moment. There's a group of like-minded individuals who don't really like the quarantine enacted by our esteemed partners at the UN. All borders closed under threat of death. All flights cancelled under penalty of mid-air detonation.

Still, no line on a map can be totally secure and we're pretty sure we know our stuff. A handful of our members got here through the same trecherous path. This is something the big wigs are going to miss out on, by the way, since they rarely make lasting friendships with the working class.

The only thing that can stop us is, of course, a Gorb.

Every rumble of thunder during the pitch black nights makes us jump and tremble. Even the slightest scent of meat or decay on a passing breeze drives us off on lengthy, maddening detours though rough terrain. When we reach new ground, I take up the job of surveying the landscape for any sign of the rolling abominations. I don't dare tell them I volunteer because I know I'm not affected by them. They'd ask questions, and rightly so.

My life has become nothing more now than surviving day to day as a dwindling pack of half-feral human animals simultaniously keep me alive and menace me with threat of ration theft or murder over some petty squabble.

That's not the worst of it, though. Not by far.

What really bothers me is that someone... somewhere... is making what is sure to be a very popular a movie out of this whole thing...

...and it was MY idea.
« Last Edit: 01:56:53 AM 02/01/16 by Slimebeast »
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.



omghero

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on: 06:35:32 AM 12/19/14
Hello slimebeast I hope you keep the creepypastas up because yours are the best i've read I really liked whimsywood,after people,and abandoned by god disney
I need more orphan meat for my meat dragon.



Slimebeast

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on: 03:40:01 PM 12/19/14
=b [Like]
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.



snakeblood

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on: 09:05:18 PM 06/14/15
Stories like these confuse me, like the story where everyone starts laughing and he's murderring them, and then they all mutter about him. They're just so spontainious and make no sense. I admire your work, but I just don't get this one. The laughing one made a little sense, though. With meaning...
Why must everything be like it is?
Why can it not be different?
Why is it not how I want it?
Now... It is.



Vertex

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on: 07:22:15 AM 06/18/15
Someone has his priorities straight.

Can't you sue Pace? He stole your idea, after all.