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Author Topic: Attention Goodshop Customers  (Read 14430 times)

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Slimebeast

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on: 04:03:57 PM 11/09/14
Attention, Goodshop customers!

Welcome to another wonderful day of shopping at your Goodshop super-mall! This is our forty-seventh year of operation, and we thank you for making this possible! Please enjoy your day, and let us know how we can serve you better!


Need that morning boost? Visit The Neat Nut Coffee Shop for anything from a mild pick-me-up to an exhilarating rush of stay-awake super-power! The Neat Nut accepts our Goodshop Customer Card!


Looking good, spending less, Trendy Touch has what you need! Get the perfect accessory or an entirely new style at Trendy Touch! From head to toe, Trendy Touch has anything your fashion sense desires.


Lost? Confused? Goodshop super-mall is the largest in the world! Ask any one of our hundreds of Assistance Drones for directions. They can even keep you up to date on sales and print coupons on the spot! You can also report shoplifters and vandals to our tried and true Assistance Drones, who will handle it in a hurry!


Breakfast is served! Come to the food court now for your choice of piping hot bagels, donuts, and more! The first meal of your shopping day is an important one. Why not try changing things up with a cinnamon pretzel?


Sea Salt Spa & Massage is here for you. Feeling tired and run-down? Barely able to stand? Try the patented "Water of Life" chemical treatments at Sea Salt Spa & Massage. This ground-breaking scientific marvel has been proven to not only reinvigorate, but also to extend human life well beyond its former limit!


Did you know all of our shops now accept the Goodshop Customer Card? Our Maintenance Drones have finally completed work! Now you can keep shopping without cash or credit cards. Don't stop, now! There are more deals just around the corner!


Need a moment to rest? Enjoy the comfortable seating in our Customer Lounge for 2.5 minutes.


Time to get up and get shopping! Hit-It Hardware is having a sale on tools and workbenches! Act now and receive a free Hit-It Hardware work apron. When it comes to your home improvement needs, Hit-It hits the nail on the head!

Time to get up and get shopping! Hit-It Hardware is having a sale on tools and workbenches! Act now and receive a free Hit-It Hardware work apron. When it comes to your home improvement needs, Hit-It hits the nail on the head!

Time to get up and get shopping!


Attention, Goodshop customers. For the next three minutes we will be testing our Disaster Alert System. Please cover your ears if loud noises cause you discomfort. Thank you for your understanding as we ensure your safety thorough periodic tests.


Welcome back to your Goodshop super-mall! If this is your first visit, please ask one of our friendly Assistance Drones for a tour! If you're a returning customer, get shopping! You're a valuable part of the Goodshop family!


Get refreshed! Grab a Poppo cola from any one of our well-placed vending machines. We have all your favorites. Poppo, Diet Poppo, Poppo Dark, and more! Simply swipe your Goodshop Customer Card through the appropriate slot, and enjoy the flavor!


Wild Willy's Pet Shop is currently closed due to stock issues. There is currently no scheduled date for re-opening. We apologize for any inconvenience.


Batter up! Savings are flying across home plate, and now is your chance to swing! Visit Hardball Sporting Goods and check out the awesome variety of sporting equipment and active wear! Hardball has Pumpjump sport sneakers, and supplies are limited! Trade in those worn out soles for the experience of walking on air!


Lunch time! Get to the food court now and enjoy pizza, burgers, tacos, and more! Your Goodshop super-mall is stocked to serve thousands upon thousands of customers each day, so you know we have what you want! Why not try Admiral Blub's Fried Fish?


Sorry, exit access is prohibited pending -
Sorry, exit access is prohibited pending -
Sorry -

Please do not stress door systems. Thank you.

Sorry, exit access is prohibited pending security protocol updates from Goodshop headquarters. Customer safety is key!


Not in the mood for fish? Nero Jr.'s Pizza Palace offers the meatsplosion pizza! If you can name a type of meat, it's on there! Use your Goodshop Customer Card and earn points toward a free family-size pie!


Please do not stress window systems. Thank you.


Assistance Drones to level four. Assistance Drones to level four. All customers please clear space for our friendly Assistance Drones. Thank you!


Now that lunch time is over, why not jog off those extra calories at Healthiverse Gym? If you have a membership, you have unlimited access! If you haven't joined, why not do so now? You don't need ID, just use your Goodshop Customer Card!


Stand by for an update. If you are currently located near Healthiverse Gym, please stand back as our Floor Drones remove the spill. We apologize for any inconvenience.


Weakness? Depression? Upset stomach? Visit Life Labs Pharmacy! Let the automated pharmacist diagnose your issues with a few simple questions, and watch it go to work selecting the cure! Goodshop is proud to support Life Labs and its global initiative to end Nackerson's Plague!


Attention, Goodshop customers! It is now time for our afternoon drawing! Don't stop shopping, but keep your ears open for that magic number!

Who will be our customer of the day, earning an additional one thousand credits on their Goodshop Customer Card? Will it be you... or you... or even you? Let's find out, now!

Today's lucky winner is...

Customer Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Two Three Eight Seven!

Congratulations! You've earned enough credits for a real shopping spree! Don't fret if you didn't win this time! With a random drawing every 24 hours, there's another opportunity every day of the week! Just ask yesterday's winner...

Customer Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Two Three Eight Seven!


Please do not stress the door systems. Thank you.

Please do not stress the door systems. Thank you.
« Last Edit: 04:44:16 AM 01/07/15 by Slimebeast »
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Azazaa

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on: 09:36:30 AM 05/03/15
This has to be my new favourite pasta.


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Vertex

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on: 06:57:39 PM 05/08/15
I can think of worse places to be trapped.

Still wouldn't enjoy it much, I think.



Slimebeast

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on: 08:52:49 PM 05/08/15
Keep in mind you're forced to eat, then exercise until you vomit, so you can eat again. XD
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Felix Theo Wren

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on: 09:21:57 PM 05/10/15
This pasta is AWEsome.  Even more fun to read it aloud.  And it kind of reminds me of the Are You Afraid of the Dark episode where the kid gets trapped in the pinball machine. :O
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crazy56u

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on: 12:59:55 AM 06/02/15
...why do I just the sinking suspicion that there's only one customer in the mall?



Slimebeast

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on: 01:51:06 AM 02/01/16
Because you are clever. ;)
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3dultrasound.Wing

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on: 07:38:05 PM 03/03/16
I love this! I always imagine this in the voice of Fizzy from Sunset Overdrive. I mean, it sounds right...



Bluesunnyday

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on: 09:04:18 PM 04/10/16
Wow, talk about an interesting hell. Being trapped in a mall in what seems to be a post-apocalyptic world, pretty much forced to engage in mindless consumerism, force-fed, worked until you literally vomit, then fed again...

I mean, it's implied the guy's been there for decades. He can't even die thanks to the Water of Life thing, and I imagine any sort of entertainment one could get from the mall would wear thin after several decades of the same thing.

It's like one of those stories where the guy thinks he's in heaven, but eventually realizes he's actually in hell.



3dultrasound.Wing

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on: 09:50:38 AM 07/03/16
I think this is actually based on a game idea slimebeast had, not sure....