Banner:
Before we begin,
little brittle old man,
I think you should know
this is not a stellar plan.
I may be a geek who seems
timid, tall, and lanky,
but I'm a ragaholic.
You won't like me when I'm angry.
Think you can battle Banner?
Drop your little cane and dance.
I'll shred your shitty style,
like a pair of purple pants.
Yoda:
Much to learn, you have,
though a Doctor you may be,
Judge me by my size
and many stars, you will see.
If brawn, you had not,
brains would not take you far.
As useless as that
Legolas wannabe, you are.
Small and quick am I.
No time I have for drama.
Force, I will not need,
this is easy, like your Momma.
Bruce has heard enough - he rages out... and becomes The Incredible Hulk!!
Hulk:
Leave Mothers out of this,
like I'm staying out of yours.
That skeeze is so diseased
she turns dicks to Red Dwarves.
I'm an Avenger, fool,
I ride with Gods and Heroes.
You hang out with half-baked
religious zealot weirdos!
I have muscle on my side,
step to gamma rays, you're fried!
You hid out from the Dark Side,
then your puppet punk-ass died!
You Force-pushed me too far.
Now there's no going back, son.
I'll misuse and abuse you,
like Lucas on Sam Jackson!
Make Dagobah my toilet,
you can hop up on a log.
It'll snow on Mustafar,
When you beat me, puny frog.
Yoda:
I sense much shit in you.
Big and bloated, you're becoming,
but your emotions, maybe,
are what you should be dumping.
Anger comes from fear, and
you're as strong as you are mad,
So you must be the biggest
living coward, and that's sad.
I didn't hide from a plot,
I just didn't get caught!
Better men, I have taught.
Stronger foes, I have fought.
Truer truths, I have sought.
Deeper things, I have thought.
The disaster you've wrought,
it has all been for naught!
Back to SHEILD, retreat, or
I'll defeat you in a hurry.
I'm a mellow muppet Master,
you're a slave to both "Fury"s.
Topic: The Incredible Hulk vs. Yoda (Read 9521 times)
