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Author Topic: Mordles, Toys Molded from Pure Sadness.  (Read 3022 times)

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Slimebeast

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Mordles, Toys Molded from Pure Sadness.
« on: 12:52:55 AM 01/01/13 »
What is your typical day like?

Maybe you wake up in the morning and you step outside... you take a deep breath, and you get real high. "Hey," you say, "What's going on?"

Well, Mordles actually lead lives very similar to yours, execpt for the fact that "What's going on?" happens to be "Everything in the world wants to f*ing kill you!"


It's like saying Earth is inhabited by "Plants & Animals & Jackasses".

First, the ultimate insult - Mordles were a mere pack-in accessory for the "Rocks & Bugs & Things" toy line of the 1980s. They weren't even a product, themselves.

Second, they're the nondescript "Things" in that title. Note that "Things" also happens to be written in bloody gore.

Mordles were tiny cat-eared creatues with taloned feet and no arms. Each came with a lovably misanthropic little expression on its face - and you'd be a misanthrope too if you lived in their world.

You may already be wondering why exactly a toy line required tiny little freaks as an accessory.

Put simply: They're goddamn murder victims.


No, really. "Blooderfly".

That's right, in the world of "Rocks & Bugs & Things", Mordles are unwary semi-humanoid prey for oversized insects with hideous hidden faces... and they don't even get arms to defend themselves with.

But hey, it's not THAT bad, right? So giant insects are trying to swallow you down at every given opportunity. It's not like you can't run and hide...


These stone-cold killers are getting boulder!

Except that you totally can't hide, becuase the friggin' ROCKS want in on the action, too!

Apparently on planet Mord... where I imagine Mordles come from... evolution is a horrible bitch. Unsavory, dark fiends have developed disguises as clever as they are cruel, and dying can be as easy as sitting down for a second.


Mordles have one natural defense:
Sticking to the roof of your mouth.

If you don't believe that Mother Nature wants these little sons of bitches GONE, take a look at the comic above. While Rocks & Bugs have been evolving into stealthy killing machines, Mordles have developed the short-term memory and common sense of a wet sock.

Stop straying too close to rocks, you guys!! That's exactly how every single member of your extended family went missing!

STILL not enough to convince you how horrible a Mordle's life must be?

Peep dis, unbeliever:


"Uncle Frank?"

Yup. The only thing worse than being gruesomely killed by what looks like a "present" Rex left on the lawn? They make you watch, first.



BONUS!


Glowing in the dark?!
Christ, like they weren't easy enough to slaughter!

If you want to see something Mordle-ly EPIC, check out Godbeast's custom Mordles. This is the type of love and attention these bastards truly deserve.

All I know is I'd kill a fool for those... or at least trick a fool into getting too close to a rock.



Also check out my tiny little Mordles page at http://mordles.com !
« Last Edit: 12:54:28 AM 01/01/13 by chwolf »
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.

omghero

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Re: Mordles, Toys Molded from Pure Sadness.
« Reply #1 on: 11:06:36 PM 01/17/15 »
Wow I would hate to be a mordle!
I need more orphan meat for my meat dragon.

Slimebeast

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Re: Mordles, Toys Molded from Pure Sadness.
« Reply #2 on: 11:48:10 PM 01/17/15 »
I wouldn't mind being a human-sized Mordle on Earth. With all those rocks and bugs though, no way.
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.