Author Topic: Fearsome Flush, the Creepiest Crapper Ever!  (Read 6022 times)

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"This is a normal, everyday plastic toy commode."



No 1980s property was quite as skilled at scarring young minds as Ghostbusters. We previously focused on the bungcentric Tombstone Tackle, but the asstasticness of that figure pales in comparison to this fecal fright, the illogically scatological Fearsome Flush!

This... this isn't REALLY a thing, right?

Yup. That's a posessed john with a giant tongue that springs out when (and where) you'd least want it to. I could elaborate on the reasons for this placement of the oral muscle, but... well, I feel dirty enough having said "oral muscle".

If you're at all familiar with the toys reviews, you'd reasonably expect that parents filled their pants with Fearsome-Flush-Food at the sight of this "disgusting", "awful", and "freakin' fantastic" toy.

Parents back then often lacked what I like to call any semblance of a soul.

How much did kids adore Fearsome Flush and his miraculous little purple poop-nose? How much do people still love Fearsome Flush? Suffice to say, I still have mine and according to Google apparently so do a lot of other man-children.

Perhaps the best part about the figure was its insane "transforming" ability. It rolled on a set of tiny wheels, which in turn caused the facial features to reveal and conceal themselves repeatedly. Like a game of peek-a-boo for horribly lonely children.

So what I'm saying is that you could, theoretically, roll this across your desk while periodically shouting: "GIMME ALL YA DUMPLINS" in a demented, gruff, decidedly Scottish voice. What I'm also saying is that I do, not-theoretically, make a point of doing this all the damned time.

I can't imagine this helped any children with pre-existing toilet issues. It's nice that you've convinced little Bobby it's completely safe to use the can, Mommy... however, allow the creative minds with Ghostbusters to offer a sensible counter-point... BOBBY - YOU ARE GOING TO F*CKING DIE AT YOUR MOST VULNERABLE AND EMBARASSING MOMENT. WE'RE ADULTS AND WE KNOW THESE HORRIBLE THINGS.

My name is Mo and I approved this message.


Check out Fearsome Flush and many other notable one-off Ghostbusters characters as rendered by Dan Schoening!

Click dat potty!

« Last Edit: 11:08:13 PM 01/16/13 by chwolf »
If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.