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Author Topic: Bloodworm - The Hardest Core Band Ever to be Fake  (Read 2912 times)

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Slimebeast

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In this world of Biebers and Gagas, it's nice to look back at some sucky music that was actually sucky on purpose.

This band did not garner any awards. It could not be found on Billboard's Top 100. It didn't even have its own Twitter feed. Mostly because said band existed from 2004-2005.


That band is Bloodworm, a fake ultra-hardcore techno-industrial band formed by myself (vocals) and Chris Hanson (music), who would later go on to change the spelling of his last name and entrap pedophiles.

I had envisioned Bloodworm for a long while, a sort of loose combination of Gorillaz-style pretend fun and techno-industrial cheese. It was to be a mockingly over-serious duo with meaningless lyrics and ear-bleeding beats.

As an example, let's look at the lyrics to "Your Fears"...

Quote
Black blood on the mouth of the beast
Black hearts on a plate for the feast

Repeated several times, followed by...

Quote
We don't want money
We don't want tears
We are your nightmare
We are your fears

Then a short break...

Quote
Give up control
Give us your soul


And so on.


I became "Mister Phistor", or "Phist" for short, and Chris became the subtly named "A. Bortion". Together we racked up a few fans and even got our music on local radio stations in multiple instances.

Though we set up a fancy-ass MySpace page (it was 2005) and planned to set up a website and release an album online... it was not meat to be.

Before the album was finalized, Chris left to pursue a musical career with another collaborator. Bloodworm was thus forever lost in the abyss... which is kind of where it belonged, to be quite honest.


Bonus!

Listen to the tracks that were completed for what was to be our first album, "Bastards of the Universe"!

If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.